return my video game
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
