margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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