Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
