I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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