Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
