Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My balls are so social today.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
