You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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