i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
