I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
