While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
porn star boner night. come get it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
