K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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