whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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