Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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