drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think your dad took our porno
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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