if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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