so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
