YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
