I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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