You just made me feel so damn special
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
