the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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