i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
