its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
either way he was missing a nipple.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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