He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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