Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Randomize
