sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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