I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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