I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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