this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
