he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
