hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
