end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
