dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
