I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
