Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
