Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
