there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
