Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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