Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
