the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
