Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
