Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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