she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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