im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
