The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
