Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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