i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
