im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
