Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
