Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
