Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The air taste purple.
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