it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
