I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
