i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
