Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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