you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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