you didnt know i had herpes?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
