Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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