i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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